Good men are hard to find, but you may be limiting your reach because you’re seeking the wrong qualifications.

Most women want a man with a lot of money who can take care of them while they stay at home with the kids.

This sounds like a great setup, but let’s be realistic by saying this may not be possible for everyone. So today, we’re taking a look at ten key traits you should consider when searching for a husband.

#1. Allows me to be myself

This one hits the list first because it’s so important! Being in a relationship where you’re constantly trying to impress your partner doesn’t sound like a good situation, I couldn’t imagine living in a home where I had to walk on eggshells.

There is no need to worry about if my hair, nails, and toes are done or if I’m not in makeup. My husband loves me either way, he actually encourages me to embrace my natural hair, eyelashes, and skin.

#2. My best friend

Our relationship started out as a friendship and I’ve always felt comfortable sharing anything with him. Just the other day I told him that he is my therapist because we always have deep, breakthrough-type conversations.

He knows me better than anyone and always has my best interest at heart. We laugh and joke all day while showing our children an example of true love.

#3. Good dad

When they say marriage is a partnership, that is a true statement. I’m blessed to have my husband there when parenting gets over my head and I have no idea what to do in a situation. He allows me to walk away and swoops in with a solution.

We have boys, so it’s great that he is here to help with the boy stuff while they get the mommy love from me. He’s always been here for them and I appreciate all that.

#4. Communicates Well

Hubs has always been the one to talk things out, which use to annoy me at the beginning. At age 18, I was accustomed to being mad and silent during a disagreement, but he helped me understand the importance of putting our issues on the table and hashing them out.

Now 22 years later, we don’t argue because we’ve learned how to communicate with each other in ways that don’t involve raising our voices.

#5. Encourages me to think

So apparently the world I’ve lived in my whole life isn’t quite what it had been painted out to be. My husband has always been a deep thinker, unafraid to ask questions, and has encouraged me to do the same.

I love that he pushes me to learn on my own versus accepting the words of others and think outside the box. This has really helped in my self-growth process.

#6. Understands the importance of self-care

I love how my husband pays attention to my ever-changing moods and reminds me when it’s time to stop and take a breath.

I’m an overachiever who has a habit of burning out, so he is there to get me together and talk me off the ledge.

#7. Very Supportive

Real talk, I’m a “whole show” who had a wild imagination as a child. Now, thanks to the internet I’m able to use my creativity to share my thoughts with the world and my husband whole-heartedly supports my blog and other online activites.

He is the support I lean on when self-doubt creeps in and tries to derail my progress. He reminds me I’m doing a good job and helps me see how close I am to reaching my goals, and motivates me to keep going.

#8. Shows His Love

I’ve never had to question his feelings for me. He was the first guy to truly show he cared and it was genuine. So much so that for a while I thought he was crazy!

In hindsight I realized my self-esteem was so low I couldn’t believe someone could like me as much as he did, thankfully I now recognize my value.

#9. Puts family first

He is never selfish when it comes to the needs of our family, always willing to put himself aside to make sure we are good. He teaches the boys how to navigate life as young Black men and he encourages us all to believe in ourselves.

#10. Handsome

Last on the list (because I’m not superficial) is the fact that he is handsome. He caught my attention the very first time I looked in his direction.

His low haircut, fresh face, leather coat, and boyish charm will never be forgotten. This also helped create the two beautiful faces you see here.

It takes a lot to deal with a woman like me, but he does it without too much fussing. And I can’t tell him enough just how much I appreciate and love him.

Read the story of how we met here.