Growing up Fat

I will never forget when my struggle with weight started.

My life changed during the summer before I started 4th grade.  I obviously spent more time eating than playing outside, because all of a sudden I was fat.  My big brother was the one who first brought it to my attention; unfortunately, it wasn’t in a nice way, because he was making fun of me.

I didn’t know how to react because this was my first time being teased about something so serious.  This was not a very good summer for me.  My cousins, uncles, grandmother, and even my daddy made comments about my weight.  I was 9 years old and didn’t know what to do.  My mother was the only one who never said anything negative, she always saw the bright side and said I would outgrow it.

The summer soon ended and it was time to return to school, I thought things at school would be the same, but to my surprise, the kids at school were able to see that I had gained weight, and they didn’t hesitate to let me know.  It hurt so bad to be teased, it was like a total shock.  I thought if I wore certain types of clothes, like long shirts to cover my thighs, then people couldn’t tell that I was fat, but that didn’t work.  I also thought that if I wore name brand shoes and clothes that it would at least take the attention away from my weight.  I asked my mother to buy me a pair of “Dopeman” Nikes because they were in style at the time.  I had the Nikes, but I was still fat and that didn’t stop the kids from teasing.

I did manage to get a boyfriend during that school year.  His name was Marcus, we were in the same class, I was so surprised that he wanted to be my boyfriend; I thought maybe he didn’t think I was fat and that’s why he liked me.  Our little relationship had a few issues because other boys in the class would tease him for having a fat girlfriend. This didn’t help my self-esteem at all!  It was like I couldn’t even have a boyfriend because I was fat.  What was I supposed to do?

As I got older, things got worse. I believe 7th grade was when I just wanted to hide from the world and become invisible. Now it was time to start Jr. High School which brought on a whole load of things I wasn’t ready for, but I will discuss how my self-image lead me to become an attention seeker in a later post.

I signed up for athletics, hoping it would help me lose weight and perhaps make the Volleyball or Basketball team.  If I lost weight and made a team, my popularity would boast and I would feel better about myself.  I had to go to the doctor to have a physical in order to participate in athletics; that’s when I found out was 156 pounds at 12 years old.  My mother assured me that I would lose weight and not to worry. Unfortunately, I did not make any sports teams and had to sit in the off-season the whole year, so there went my plan.

This story can go on for hours, so how about you leave your questions and comments below and I will add to this post accordingly.

Thanks for reading!