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When you become a mother everything changes. Your time is devoted to your baby and you have no problem with it because this tiny piece of you is so beautiful nothing else matters.

Time moves fast when you are responsible for the daily well-being of a child, being a mom can make you forget who you were before you became somebody’s mama. Mom life requires your full attention, and you may look around 18 years later and wonder what you’ve done with you life. Depending on how much life you lived before having a baby, it may be possible that you didn’t get the chance to know the real you.

Have you ever found yourself saying “I don’t know who I am anymore”? Well, I’m here to share my story, and a few tips I use to make sure I stay true to the person I was before I was a mom. I believe self-awareness has been the best self-care I’ve done for myself. Once I started to believe I was more than I was raised to believe, I made sure to set an example and teach my kids. They can do anything they see in their dreams. Keep reading to find out how I balance mom life and self-care.

Why Is Self-Care Important for Moms?

It’s simple, before having kids you lived a life without a care in the world. Then all of sudden you are eating for two and being more responsible because you are in charge of someone else’s life. This instant transition is not easy for all moms, and you will need time to stop and take a deep breath to process the change that has taken place in your life. I had my first child at 23 and truly had no idea how much he would actually change my life.

My entire world revolved around my sweet baby. I was there for his early morning feedings, diaper changes, doctors’ appointments, first tooth, the first day of school, etc. There wasn’t much room for anything other than going to work to make sure my child had food, clothes, shelter, and toys. He was the most important person in my life because his well being depended on me. I got lost in motherhood for years, now my oldest child is 16 and I’m seeing life differently.

How Do I Find Myself Again After Motherhood?

My self-awareness kicked into high gear in my late 3os. My oldest became a teenager when I was 36 and this is when things started to change. The transition from parenting a little boy to a teenager in this world really took me for a ride and I started fighting to reclaim my identity.

I began to look deep within and pay attention to the fact that I tried to be perfect in front of my kids. For example, I made it my business not to use foul language around them. Once I realized my oldest son was listening to vulgar rap and singing along, I started to relax and let my bad words flow too! This was when my parenting style shifted to Raw & Real.

Look, I graduated high school in 1999. My soundtrack that summer consisted of everything CRUNK! Back That Azz Up was on continuous rotation and I was ready to twerk whenever the beat dropped! You cannot tell me I didn’t come from the best era ever, regardless of what my kids think.

I said all that to remind you to reconnect with that cool girl who did what she wanted and could care less about what someone had to say. You can still live a Grown and Lit life, you will just do it more responsibly because you do have little ones watching your every move. If being Lit is not your thing, keep reading for more inspiration.

Revisit an Old Hobby

Start thinking about what you enjoyed doing before you had kids. I’ve always enjoyed writing and storytelling, so I started a blog. Writing my blog is very relaxing and therapeutic as it allows me to release the thoughts in my head and help others.

If you can’t recall what you enjoyed before kids, find something new to do with your time. Are you crafty? Arts and crafts projects are lots of fun to do with kids, this way you can do something fun for yourself while spending quality time with the kiddos. Get on Pinterest and get some ideas flowing today!

Get Serious About Fitness

Weight gain with pregnancy (no matter how long it’s been) is normal, so working out and maintaining a healthy diet will help you to feel better about yourself.

I haven’t had a baby since 2010, so my extra fluff is all on me. Recently I’ve gotten back on my fitness journey and can’t wait to see my results after putting in some work. These 40 pounds will be gone in no time. I’m so glad I now have a positive attitude about my weight and fitness and journey. Click here for my weight loss story.

Treat Yourself

Treating yourself doesn’t always have to be an online shopping spree, but if your budget allows I say go for it sis! This is where self-care comes in. I know we are stuck in the house, so here are a few things you can still indulge in at home:

  • Wine (duh)
  • V-steam
  • Skin Care Routine
  • New Wig
  • Essential Oils
  • Organizing the pantry
  • Mani/Pedi

Before kids I loved to go out and dance, 16 years later this has not changed. Now that we are stuck in the house bored, I like to create the club vibe at home. All I need is my drink and my two-step with some good jams and I’m set!

Is it Possible to Be Yourself After Motherhood?

Absolutely! Just because your life doesn’t look the same, the biggest take away here is that if mama is not happy, the whole house will suffer. Take care of you and family will be better for it. I’m going to go ahead and wrap this up, but I want you to tell me what are some things you do to treat yourself? I will add your ideas to the list so we can help other moms. Talk to you later!

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